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Gentle thoughts for August
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If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
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Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
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A penny saved is a government oversight.
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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He who hesitates is probably right.
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Did you ever notice:
The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are "XL." (Do it! Do it!)
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
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Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
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To those I love: PLEASE put your arms around my shoulders. And your hand over my mouth!
KNOCK-KNOCK
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris Who?
The Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel Who?
Isabel out of order? I had to knock.
Fish&Guitar joke
Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.
DOUBLE-TAKE KNOCK-KNOCK
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Control Freak — Now say, "Control-freak who . . . ?"
Think about it again. Yeah. And . . . ?
Okay, that's it unless you want . . .A whole bunch MORE Jokes
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